when in rome

 

say it fast enough

 I am not the only one that sings ‘hits’ from around the globe. The guy behind me was whistling Nessun Dorma today, and doing really well but he went sharp on the pivotal note and everybody was annoyed because we’d invested so much time in him. RIP Roger Whittaker – they can take your body, but they will never take your whistle.

Where are the kindhearted, wine-swilling, pizza-loving Italians from Roman Holiday, A Year in Provence, Troy and Gladiator, and did they ever exist?

And where have they hidden Roberto Benigni??!!!

I don’t know what’s going on, but I was going to be Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun and they were going to wine and dine me, and take me into their hearts and homes.

Whatevs. I met a really cool Singaporean girl last night and her friend (drug dealer) had to leave town at the last minute and couldn’t use the Vatican tour she bought, which includes the papal address. Yes – I, Megan Green, have an audience with the pope tomorrow!!

It’s more exciting than it sounds – I’m  not going to get to sit on his lap and tell him what I want for Christmas, but I will see him come out of his hidey hole and  throw some undies on stage if I get close enough!!

I also met some American tourists who were VERY VERY excited to find someone who could speak English. The woman was from Baw-ston and she said “Pete! Pete! To her husband who was struggling uphill with all their bags – she can speak English!! Jerry, come and see the baaaaaaaaaybeeeeeeee.

When we parted ways, I heard her say – “See what did I tell you Pete, I said every Australian you meet is nice.”

Bless her red sox.

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6 thoughts on “when in rome

  1. OMG Megs………I have laughed and laughed!!! Nearly wet myself with hysteria! You are brilliant……These are Lemony Snippets with a capital LS!
    Can’t say how much I enjoyed your blog (You are my first ever person I have read their blog)! Keep ’em coming , Ciao, Aunty Sand (Your biggest fan) Weight wise……

  2. megsie moooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love your guts, you rock my little perth world. KEEP SAFE and keep writing- i’m going to have to go out and get some more undies. xo

  3. Megs,
    i have just about almost finished the rest of your blogs- can’t believe it’s taken me this long… i am sitting at home, about to get ready for miik’s exhibition, laughing OUT LOUD. megs- actually BRILLIANT. i can’t get enough. love you long time, xxxxxx

    • Thanks luey!!

      Edited: would type longer, but hard to type on this swiss keyboard – the preference is for z’s and there are dots on everything.

      Unedited: Would tzpe longer, but hard to tzpe on this swiss kezboard ‘ the preference is for yäs and there are dots on everzthing

      zou see what iäm dealing with, no?

      love zou and miss zou

      xxxxxxx

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